A Timeless Moment, September 1-3, 1997
Canary in a Coalmine.
Part of the reason
I'm taking a short break from writing is that Jimmy felt I was looking
a bit thin. Also, my big right toe is slightly infected from the new nail
growth, so I need to just focus on bodily health and destressing myself
a bit. Also, Jimmy and I are taking the time to reexamine TLS
from top to bottom, making sure it's everything *we* want it to be.
So much is happening so quickly,
I feel caught up in a vortex, and I need some time to process everything
so the new book can have its own birth. BTW, I can't seem to get my survey
results, so I've screwed something up there. What is really helping me
now are your comments about my writing and this diary, either by email
or guestbook.
I've gotten letters like:
"...I enjoy reading your
web site -- I confess, in some ways it's like a novel or soap opera (an
engaging one, which I enjoy following.) I like the coincidences, including
the story about the people in the bar who had no idea how true TLS is,
and your description of your visit with Grace to the AIDS center.) I've
seen TLS twice (and have some friends who want me to take them, so I may
see it again.)..."
As you might know, just for
the record, I began writing this diary solely for myself and my doctor
and family. The medical necessity has passed (for now)... and the story
has
evolved. But, if you continue reading, then I'll continue writing.
One more thing, someone in
my guestbook suggested taking up a collection of some kind to help me get
a laptop computer. NO! Please. I beg you. If you want to give money to
anything, please give it to a local AIDS Service Organization or to Jarvis's
Magical AIDS Ride. I made a commitment to being candid in this diary
about my finances but only if did not turn into a fundraising drive. If
I accept money, then I would be afraid to say anything ever again. Besides,
it won't be too long before I'll finally be drawing a real paycheck, god
willing and the creek don't rise. I know the offer comes from your heart,
but I have to stand firm on this. I know you understand.
FROM AN OLD FRIEND:
Stevie baby! Just read your
diary and it brought back memories of when you interned with me and Vasi
[Vangelos, a film music agent two summers ago]. How you looked so thin
and I really was scared about what would happen to you. I'm so incredibly
proud of what you have accomplished. I know this is only the beginning
for you and the play. I plan on giving you a big hug on your 60th Birthday!!!
I love ya' kiddo!!! Keep reaching for the stars!!!!
FROM MARTY:
About the only thing left
is you being so rich and famous that you're on world-wide television complaining
about the paparazzi hounding you and taking "those kind" of pictures through
your bedroom window. I'm very happy for you for your success -- several
areas of success when one stops to think of it -- and the most wonderful
success: you're still here to bug us. Missya, Stevie.
NEW YORK MOMENT:
I went by the corner at
Times Square last night where the black extremist group that wears little
black hats with stars of David normally preaches against white Jesus. They
were doing a dance and celebrating Princess Di's death and chanting, "...death
to all rich white people." I tried to keep from laughing and I tried to
keep from getting angry. It was just so absurd.
MORE tomorrow...
Thursday, September 4, 1997
Peaceful Center of the Wild Vortex.
THE MARKETING
MEETING:
Picture 12 or 13 young,
hungry people scrunched around a little table up in an office on Fifth
Ave. Words and statistics and acronyms are flying around like badminton
birdies popping off the walls and making me dizzy. Terms like: Wild Posters.
Big Blitz. Snipes. Added Value. Psychographic profiles.
It all started to blur together
after awhile and I thought back to when *I* was the whole marketing department
for TLS. I did get a few interesting tidbits,
though, if you want to hear them. For one, the promotional campaign will
be focused on the characters in the show, not on some generic logo.
CHRISTIAN/HETERO/SCHOOLTEACHER
MICHAEL WROTE:
While I had not
been what you would call homophobic, let's just say that my thoughts on
the subject were unambiguous! Well, thanks to your sharing of your life
story in your diary, I have definitely had a change of heart. Perhaps,
though, the process began a few weeks ago during a conversation with this...person
I know. He's definitely a rabid homophobic and was talking out his butt
as usual. I suppose I must have made some comment which he felt betrayed
a commitment on my part to sharing his vews. He asked me (in total serious,
mind you), "Would you want your sister to marry one?" I just plain busted
out laughing right in his face. He was not amused. I think it was then
when I began to see that this anti-gay mindset might be laughable at best.
I think you have pushed me over the edge. Thanks!
THEN MICHAEL THE TEACHER
WROTE:
After I wrote to
you, I was listening to the song "Beauty and the Beast." Then some lines
in there suddenly hit me: "Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change,
learning you were wrong." I busted out bawling! I felt a strange kind of
freedom. Can learning to accept other's homosexuality be classified as
a type of "coming out"? Why does the decision to allow others to make their
own choices make me so happy? Maybe because now I can concentrate on getting
my own act together according to the standards I've set for myself, instead
of running around trying to get others to meet them first.
WHY I LAUGHED AT THE MEN
IN THE HATS:
My friend, Maggie Heineman
quoted what author Wink Powers asks: "One of the most pressing questions
facing the world today is, How can we oppose evil without creating new
evils and being made evil ourselves?" She said his take on the subject
was that individually, like the institutions we deplore, we must reject
the Babylonian myth of redemptive violence, stop placing evil outside of
ourselves, resist the temptation to control others.
Resist the temptation to
control others???? What kind of heresy is that?
Friday - Saturday, September 5-6, 1997
Homework, Floating & Queer Town.
These diary pages
are being written in a limbo between Book 5 and Book 6 although they'll
be a part of Book 6. I'm allowing my thoughts to just run free rather than
trying to force them into some kind of thematic overview. I kinda feel
like a runner who has overrun the tape and is still stumbling around trying
to catch his breath. Plus, Mother Teresa died on Princess Di weekend.
The Bonus Round doesn't need
to be a breathless run for some goal. It's never the goal that satisfies,
it's the path or race or ramble or walk to the goal that makes it all worthwhile.
We had the good fortune of having a successful production at the Currican,
but that wasn't what made it worth doing. It was the people we met, the
lives that were affected and the love that was generated.
JIM'S MOTHER TERESA STORY:
When Jimmy was producing
benefits for Catholic Charities, he was invited to Cardinal Cooke's funeral.
At the reception, he and a friend saw Mother Teresa and the friend said,
"I gotta get her autograph." Jimmy said, "You're going to ask Mother Teresa
for her autograph? "Yes," he said, "it's my only chance." So they
zipped across the room to say hello. Jimmy says she had a very firm handshake,
made a remark about Jimmy being tall and just as she was about to turn,
his friend said, "Can I have your autograph?" She snatched the pen and
paper from his hand and in big flowing letters she wrote, "La Teresa."
Ya gotta love that.
GETTING IT RIGHT:
I don't think Jimmy and
I have ever worked so intensely on anything as we have been doing with
TLS
this past week. We have literally worked through the play beat by beat,
moment by moment, examining and reexamining every single word, every single
intention and every note and word of every song. I'll give you an illustration:
we spent an hour and a half the other day on Save Me
A Seat alone. That's a two and half minute song.
Saturday afternoon, we had
several meetings with our producers; Carl the Dreamer, Jamie the Calculator
Kid, Jay the Romantic and Michael the Problem-solver. They, along with
Company Manager "No-Surprises Nancy," have formed this protective cocoon
over Jimmy and me allowing us to create in peace and tranquility. The fact
is, this new production of TLS will be a completely
different show than the Currican production. We have some wonderful surprises
up our sleeves.
NEW DIGS IN CHELSEA:
Jimmy and I have successfully
moved into a new apartment. This time we are in Chelsea. (Did I include
"travelogue" in the selections on the survey?). You might recall that we've
been shuffled all over New York City. First we were up in Ft. Washington
(AKA Canada), then the upper east side (Canyon City), then Brooklyn (where
it was neighborhoody and full of trees and married couples with babies),
then mid-town near Times Square (where water was $2.50 a bottle), and now
we're in Chelsea.
How can I describe Chelsea
except to say that it is totally Queer Town? There are two gyms within
spitting distance, everyone seems to be on steroids, there are rainbow
flags everywhere, gay couples openly holding hands and shopping together...
it's really nice, to tell you the truth. You know I'm no heterophobe, but
sometimes it feels really nice to just get away from feeling like someone
is going to give you a dirty look if you forget yourself and just hug your
man.
An African American friend
of mine once said, "Sometimes you just gotta get away from white people..."
And I knew just what he meant. I am reconnected here in Chelsea and have
my email back and in working condition, thank God. I have to confess, though,
that I don't hate being disconnected from the net now and again.
And now that I'm back online,
I need to get into the TLS pages and start updating
them, I have to think up a new name to call Book Six. My friend Marty wrote
me and told me about a picture he saw of Princess Di at a leper colony.
He said the thing that got his attention was that they were laughing, and
he said anyone who can make a leper laugh was okay in his book.
So, I thought I could call
Book Six "The Laughing Leper," but it just sounds so weird. One of my cynical
friends said I should call it the Peter Principle (very funny) but since
I don't know what I'm going to call it, I'll just continue to float here
in the Free Zone, having deep thoughts. Happy to have you floating along...
Sunday, September 7, 1997
The Emotional Mailbag.
I have had some
incredible mail and I wanted to share it with you.
MICHAEL THE TEACHER:
I already told you about
Michael, the hetero/Christian/teacher who (before finding this site) had
given no thought to "Christian homophobia," but who was now seeing it all
around him. I told him that while some Christians think gays are evil,
there are also many gays who think all Christians are evil.
HE WROTE:
...concerning those people
who think that Christians are evil. Anymore, I would tend to agree with
them a good percentage of the time. In fact, I have pretty much gone "into
the closet" as a Christian. I don't want people to think that I'm that
hateful and judgmental. So much for "knowing we are Christians by our love."
But hey! If Christians were NICE, then that would probably mean that they
were gay!
Well, now there's a statement
for ya. I wrote him back and said, "Trust me. I know plenty of 'un-nice'
gay people, so don't be putting us on a pedestal." But, that someone has
now found himself hiding the fact that he is a Christian because he is
so mortified by the actions of the Christian community is an issue that
should strike every Christian right through the heart. And this is not
an issue about being pro- or anti-gay. (This is also why the Bridges
Across Site was instituted, so that reasonable people on both sides
of the gay/Christian debate could at least establish some dialogue.)
REMEMBER UNSUBSCRIBED?:
In December of 1996, I wrote
about a man whose lover had died, and who announced the death in my gaypoz
email list. This past week, I received a couple of notes from "Jim Howe"
who had just found a diary entry I wrote about him "unsubscribing" his
lover. He also recently ordered one of my CD's. He
wrote:
I read your [Dec.
1996] diary entry, and it was about me
and "John." I had been browsing through your diary site and was as surprised
as a pup catching his own tail when I "turned" to that page and read my
e-mail and your comment the following day about the grocery store. P>"John"
found so much hope in your story, your strength, and your outlook on life.
He adopted your saying of "Living life in the bonus round" as a way of
looking at life and an impossible situation. He had so wanted to see your
show become a success (which I'm glad to see it has) and had hoped to live
to see the show if it ever came to California.
I put [your] CD in, and as
the first bars from Connected played I found
myself crying for the first time in a long time. I was moved by the lyrics,
but it was the shock of hearing music that "John" had so wanted to hear,
to hearing it without him, that allowed me to feel some of the pain and
frustration I've kept inside for so long. (I was also laughing in between
the tears, as I was on my way to my first day at a new job and showing
up with a red, puffy face was not on my agenda for the day....)
The ultimate irony to me
was the title of the first track, Connected,
is so apropos. I was listening to the music and voice of a man my partner
corresponded with, with whom I've only exchanged the briefest of email,
and yet your lyrics felt as if you'd watched the last few years of my life
with "John." The other song that brought those feelings, and the tears,
out again was Going It Alone. I could hear "John"
in your voice, the fears and thoughts he so rarely expressed, about dying,
about leaving me alone, about the separate hell each of us was going through.
I'm pretty much speechless here,
folks. This was just so unexpected. Someone said to me this week that I
will never in my lifetime truly understand nor know the effects of my work.
Tell you the truth, I don't think about it much until I get an email like
this. I don't really consider myself anything more than just a guy with
a big mouth. All I can hope is that sometimes the big mouth says just the
right thing.
Monday, September 8, 1997
I Feel A Name Comin' On...
I'm beginning to
love our little cocoon, this cozy apartment Jimmy and I are staying in
-- despite the stacks of leather and bondage magazines we keep finding.
It's funny to be in someone else's world. (our host is away for two months
on a job). I don't like to pry or snoop around (honestly), so when I unexpectedly
find an S&M magazine next to a book about Mongol costumes and Indian
art, it's kind of startling. There are also books about cars, dance, art,
iron maidens and chastity belts (!).
The apartment is a "railroad"
apartment. That is, it's one long rectangular place with little divides
that make two rooms (with no doors). Jimmy has an ancient portable PC in
the living room where he is working on the next draft of TLS
while watching his horrible daytime TV shows.
Although, All My
Children has a great storyline concerning a gay teenager right now. There's
a "reparative therapist" who is trying to change the boy, who is going
along with it because of how much stress his parents are laying on him.
The boy, himself, was perfectly content being gay until everyone started
trying to "fix" him.
I'm continually impressed
with mail I get from teens, by the way, both straight and gay. It feels
as if they are losing so many of the bonds and prejudices I grew up with.
I only "knew" that what "I was" could get me killed or fried in hell, so
I stuffed it all inside and hid. This also led to massive amounts of self-hatred
and reckless behavior. If I can just keep one kid from going through this,
I'll feel as if I've made a difference in this world.
So, with Jimmy pecking away
in front of the tube, I'm in the next "room" with my feet up on the desk
(completely naked, of course) working at our host's Mac. I have total access
to my email at last, so you can all write me again. And I actually have
time to answer!
Since Jimmy will be back
in the director's chair this time out, the calls from the design and production
team stream in, as well as from Nik Venet who is putting the recording
session together, and from the PR team checking facts and looking for story
ideas they can pitch.
A few moments ago, Jimmy
walked up to me and said, "You know, it just dawned on me! We're writing
and directing a major off-Broadway production that is scheduled to begin
rehearsing in two weeks. " And I reminded him that we did this very thing
one year ago in El Lay on Melrose Ave. at the Zephyr Theatre, except back
then, he had a rank amateur in the role of Gideon (me). We also had friends
lending us pieces of wood for the set, David Robyn's rock and roll PA system,
and an out of tune piano from Ronda's living room.
And the show still worked.
This time around we have
a fantasy come true: a professional troupe of actors, top-notch designers,
a great theatre, a producing team, and investors putting a half million
dollars worth of faith in us and in our work.
Sounds like Book 6 finally
has a name:
Fantasy & Faith.
Tuesday, September 9, 1997
Best Song In 15 Years?
We're so excited
today!! This is from the theatre section of The
Village Voice and it just came out today:
Going It Together
Since I have no way of knowing
every AIDS-inspired song ever written, there isn't any way to categorically
designate the standout. I can only say that the best I've heard in 15 years
is Steve Schalchlin's "Going It Alone," which
close the first act of THE LAST SESSION (Currican,
moving to the 47th Street Theatre). In the ballad, a dying man comes to
the realization that while he may feel he's on his own in a losing battle,
his longtime companion could very well be experiencing the same isolation.
It's a heartbreaking outcry in a heart-mending show.
Gideon, a singer-songwriter
who crossed over from gospel to pop and is using old-time Baptist chords
to make iconoclastic social statements, has decided he's going to take
his life the morning after he finishes recording a final album. To the
studio he's invited two feuding female singers he's worked with in the
past -- one of them an ex-wife. Seemingly by chance, a third singer turns
up, a born-again Christian with a programmed aversion to homosexuality.
The fifth character in
this impassioned mix is an engineer, who spends his time issuing asides
from the booth. There's not an inordinate amount of suspense generated
by the question of Gideon's following through on this plan, and the confrontations
that prompt his 11th-hour pro-or-con decision enter on monster feet. But
they're ultimately inconsequential distractions in a musical comedy-drama
wrenched by Jim Brochu from deep places within himself. Bob Stillman, Dean
Bradshaw, Grace Garland, Amy Coleman, and Stephen Bienskie sing like tarnished
angels and act like the devil.
--David Finkle, Village
Voice.
The review is on page 107 on
the far right side in big bold lettering and it runs the length of the
page. This review is one that comes from the final weeks of the show, after
Jimmy and I both made the big cuts (and changes) we felt focused the show.
I love where he said the music uses "old-time Baptist chords to make iconoclastic
social statements." For my brother Corky: I was going to look up "iconoclastic"
in the dictionary, but there is no dictionary in this apartment. Darn.
(But I'm sure it's something good...)
Time for the PULL QUOTE GAME!
(theme music):
"I can only say
the best [AIDS-inspired song] I've heard in 15 years is Steve Schalchlin's
"Going It Alone..." --David Finkle, Village Voice.
"...a heartbreaking outcry
in a heart-mending show." -- David Finkle, Village Voice.
"...a musical comedy-drama
wrenched by Jim Brochu from deep places within himself." -- David Finkle,
Village Voice.
"Bob Stillman, Dean Bradshaw,
Grace Garland, Amy Coleman, and Stephen Bienskie sing like tarnished angels
and act like the devil." --David Finkle, Village Voice.
Wednesday, September 10, 1997
The Flagcourt Follies.
A BIG ANNIVERSARY
TODAY!!
On Wednesday, Sept. 10,
1959, (38 years ago) at the age of 13, Jimmy Brochu got all the kids in
the neighborhood together, wrote and directed a revue, starred in it, choreographed
it, and raised $350 for the American Cancer Society.
The inside scoop,
though, is that he scandalized all the parents. The end of act one was
scheduled to be a big production number with Jimmy as the star singing,
"Give My Regards to Broadway" and featuring the little neighborhood girls
(ages 10-13) dancing a big kick line in skimpy costumes.
They told him, "The number
is cut!" He told them, "No, it's not!" They said, "Yes, it is." And with
that, he turned on his heel and walked out, overhearing Mrs. Conroy --
a very "Gladys Cooper"-type lady -- say that she could direct it herself.
Well, the next day, "...they
came crawling back to this 13 year old, begging me to return," Jimmy says
with a scoff. He responded to them, "Only if we do it my way!"
So, on the night of the big
performance, the Flagcourt Theatre (located in Bay Ridge Brooklyn in the
basement of Jimmy's apartment complex) was filled to capacity with 350
people.
At the big moment, Jimmy
led the junior squad of girls into the big number wearing his daddy's britches
-- and just as he hit the big musical climax, he SPLIT the pants right
in two.
Jimmy was a very big little
boy. (Still is).
By the way, the only person
who didn't like the show was Jimmy's grandmother who said it made her realize
that Jimmy had forever turned away from the priesthood. Happy anniversary,
Jimmy. I'm not really surprised that you've survived 38 years in show biz.
What's amazing is that show biz has survived 38 years of you! **howling
cackle**
P.S. One more addition to
the title of Book Six -- it just sounded a little bit stodgy. Then last
night, as I was walking around Manhattan thinking about the amazing speed
ofTLS, and it came to me. How does this sound?
Book Six: Fantasy, Faith
& A Runaway Train.
Thursday, September 11, 1997
Horror, Absurdity & Another Dead Kid.
This might turn
into one of those "Loud Steve" diary pages, so consider yourself warned.
1. I have a reader (female,
teenager, straight) who has been writing me saying how badly she wants
to be a part of the Gay/Straight Alliance in her school. It's a student
group which lets gay teens see that there are straight kids who won't hate
them for being gay. But, this girl's mother is a rampant homophobe and
my reader is having a crisis about attending the club and disobeying her
mother.
2. Michael, the teacher I've
been telling you about, approached his district superintendent about a
"Safe Schools" policy, which would provide a safe environment for gay kids:
Supt.: Our Safe
Schools policy consists of one item--boys may not dress up for Halloween
as women, because that is deemed offensive to homosexuals.
Now, before you guffaw yourself
to death, check this out: Do you remember a news story last year about
a high school in Salt Lake City where a group of students wanted to form
a Gay/Straight Alliance? It caused such a furor among the proudly religious
leadership of the school, the county and the state legislature, that they
tried banning ALL student groups just to keep this one from meeting?
Well, here's an
email I got this morning from Maggie Heineman. According to filmmakers
Jeff Dupre and Eliza Byard: Yesterday, a young man named Jacob Orozco
was to be president of that very Gay-Straight Alliance, took his own life.
They continue, "We had the opportunity to meet Jacob last March in Salt
Lake City while producing a film, Out of the Past, which documents the
Gay Straight Alliance's struggle..."
"Jacob stood out as a dynamic,
funny and seemingly confident young man. Our camera was drawn to his energy
and charm again and again. He was a accomplished athlete, a talented gymnast
and an inspiration to the fellow members of the Alliance.
"Despite the support of the
Gay-Straight Alliance at East High, Jacob had to cope with hearing daily
reminders of society's loathing and rejection of gays and lesbians. A recent
study indicates that high school students hear anti-gay epithets like "faggot"
and "dyke" an average of nearly thirty times a day (Massachusetts Department
of Education, 1994). According to the Centers for Disease Control, one
in six gay and lesbian teenagers is beaten up so badly during high school
that they require medical attention.
When you're seventeen
and this is the only reality you've ever known, it can be hard to imagine
that things will ever get better. It's no wonder that for kids like Jacob,
suicide seems an acceptable alternative."
... and then, *BOOM*, I'm right
back in Olympia, Washington thinking about Bill
Clayton who also thought his whole life would be one of abuse and hate,
JUST LIKE HE WAS EXPERIENCING IN SCHOOL.
I'm so angry right now, the
blood vessels in my head are pounding. I want to go up to Michael's school
superintendent and just slap the shit out of him for being so fucking stupid.
But, what good would that do? How do you fight this kind of hate and ignorance
when it's so absolutely absurd??? THEIR ENTIRE SAFE SCHOOLS POLICY IS TO
DISALLOW BOYS FROM DRESSING LIKE GIRLS ON HALLOWEEN???? (...because it
has been deemed "offensive to homosexuals...).
I mean, really. How many
levels of absurdity are evident in this statement? Has this guy ever seen
Halloween Parade in New York or San Francisco? Does he really think that
men dressing like women on Halloween is offensive to gay people??? And
does he really think that the definition of a safe school is one where
gay people are not offended on Halloween???
I'm in a drop-jawed stupor
over the level of ignorance displayed by this educational supervisor. I
would love to just laugh out loud, stick my head out the window and scream.
But somewhere in Salt Lake
City, a mother and father are looking at a dead body that used to contain
a great kid.
jesusgod have mercy on us
all.
Friday, September 12, 1997
Silence, Anger & Crying Babies.
After you scream
your head off and get all hot under the collar and find yourself in the
righteous position of being oh so correct and so much smarter and so much
more holy than the rest of the world, the wisest thing to do at that moment
is go to sleep and then wake up the next day and keep your mouth shut and
go for a walk or read a book or something.
Today was Quiet Steve day.
Even though I only punched
at faceless straw dogs yesterday, I know from the email and notes in my
guestbook
that I managed to stir an emotion or two yesterday with my fiery harangue
against the universe. Stirring up emotions is a dangerous proposition,
my friends. Mostly because you only make enemies more determined to hate
you and you can also make your friends feel impotent because they want
to please you as much as they want to please themselves (or save the world
or something).
But, before I go on, I do
want to let you know that yesterday's diary page was not intended to be
a manipulative speech. It was simply the exact way I was feeling at the
moment that I wrote it. Accept my apologies if I upset you. One thing,
though. Anger is not a terrible thing. It's just a thing.
But I have known since grade
school that one cannot function properly if one stays angry. It corrupts
your ability to think and to plan effectively. Michael the Teacher felt
he had failed me (us, himself) because, in one question to one supervisor
he wasn't able to change the whole policy of an entire school system. I
told him to relax. It's does not good to try to change the universe. What
is more likely is that some lonely gay kid will need a friend and he will
be that friend.
Linda George and has adopted
the phrase "One heart at a time." That's the speed of changing the universe,
in my opinion. Dr. Dorsey told me a Jewish midrash (saying), "Change one
heart and you change the world." I believe this because each of us are
the centers of our own universes and so each of us are a world unto ourselves.
And until that world is changed, nothing changes.
I also got a note from a
girl who, like the character in the song The Sad Lady, cuts herself and
says that at her school, the gay kids are accepted, but she is shunned
and forced from school even though she never "...parades her scars around
trying to get other kids to cut themselves, too." (the allusion is to the
idea of gays recruiting...). She is right, of course. To get "gaycentric"
would be boring and would also destroy the thing we are trying to create.
It's not about being gay. It's about creating a climate of safety and acceptance
so people can grow and learn on their own.
Gabi Clayton, after feeling
anger over the her son's suicide, quietly put up a website, quietly spoke
to children and parents about what happened, worked with the local Safe
Schools Coalition gathering facts, spoke from her heart as a mother in
front of school and state legislatures, and *boom* one year later, kids
are getting the help they need. Schoolboards are getting educated.
Enlightenment.
My diary page from yesterday
will stay as it is (because readers have now laid down the law about me
changing a single word of anything I write), but no one should see that
diary page as a permanent state of my mind. And no one should take that
page, tack it up on the wall and use it to feed their own anger, either.
It's a moment in time. The three incidents came together all at once and
they lit a fuse in my heart and I blew.
The direct contribution I
strive for (so that I can be a part of the solution, not the problem) is
to use my talents as a writer and speaker. It's all I know how to do since
I am the world's worst organizer and have no common sense at all. I put
words here. I put them in my songs.
As John Bettis told me (after
I told him our show was going to Off-Broadway): "That's good news and that's
bad news. The good news is you got a show going to off-Broadway."
"The bad news is: Now you're
a writer."
BEST SONG PART
2:
After reading David Finkle's
Village Voice review calling Going It Alone "...the
best [AIDS-inspired] song in the last 15 years," (a phrase that keeps rolling
around in my head over and over), I suddenly remembered something and I
was surprised some of you "regulars" didn't remember it for me. Remember
the night the baby cried during one of the Currican performances? (He cried
all the way through Going It Alone?
I turned to a man near
me at intermission and apologized for the song "getting ruined." He said
to me, "A fire engine couldn't ruin that song." Well, I'm sure it was this
guy. I remember Andrew or someone told me he was a critic! It's has to
be a testament to professionalism that he could put the baby out of the
room in his mind and stay focused on the song.
(...or do we need to incorporate
a crying baby during every performance? And what do you pay a crying baby
anyway?)
Saturday, September 13, 1997
Derek In Wonderland.
His name is Derek.
Derek Scally. He's an Irish boy; a tall, rather gawky, red-headed student
of musical theatre who is on leave from Ireland enjoying a summer in New
York. Today, he walked into the "living novel" that is this diary and suddenly
the figures of fantasy became flesh and blood.
It was less than a month
ago that two seemingly unrelated events caused this uproar in his life.
First, he found the website of one A HREF=http://members.tripod.com/~claytoly/>Gabi
Clayton, where he happened upon a link to one Steve
Schalchlin, internet diarist and cultural iconoclast. Simultaneously,
a friend of his on the Sondheim email list took him to a small off-off-Broadway
production of a little-known musical called The
Last Session (TLS), where he was promptly blown away.
After putting two and two
together, he then wrote an email to this Mr. Schalchlin, who wrote him
back and invited him to a little gathering last Thursday night where he
met Carl D. White, producer of TLS, and where
he heard a cassette tape of the full version of "Shades of Blue." He was
astounded and could barely speak all night long. "I'm a part of history,"
he kept saying to one and all.
Then they told him the entire
NuBiHeOnBiHe gang (NuBiHeOnBiHe stands for Numerous Big Hearts & One
Big Head and consists of Steve's online family) would soon be gathering
in New York because both Luke
Chipperfield, legendary thinblooded Aussie positoid, and Shawn Decker's
lovely Brazilian bride-to-be Mariana would be coming to America at the
same time.
The next day, he found himself
invited to a Circle Line Cruise around the island of Manhattan. Then, at
the Dramatists Guild's Frederick Loewe Suite surrounded by Gabi
from Olympia Washington, Lindafrom
New Hampshire, Luke
the Rebek, Shawn "My Pet Virus"
Decker, Tracey from Virginia, First Angel Don Kirkpatick, internet
activist Barb (Horsemom2) and her son Greg, TLS Crusaders Shaun, Chris
& Dawn, the first reunion of the entire cast of TLS,
and 40 other friends and fans from the internet.
Steve Schalchlin began by
playing a few songs on the old Steinway in the room. Then he proceeded
to tell the story of how he met his internet friends. First there was Tracey
in Virginia, who invited him to Old Dominion University, then there was
Shawn Decker who was just letting the world know about his HIV, Gabi Clayton
who was still coming to terms with the death of her son, Linda who was
in the process of unprejudicing herself when her daughter came out to her,
Don Kirkpatrick who was just finding a new life on the internet after years
of feeling isolated in West Texas. Luke, the young straight boy hemophiliac
who Shawn and Steve took under their collective wings (wth Steve becoming
Luke's erstwhile webmaster)... and on and on.
Then Binky (Stephen Bienskie)
and Steve S. sang Going It Alone together. Soon,
Bob Stillman arrived and played two of his own original songs, as well
as Steve Schalchlin's Connected.
All the while, Derek watched
all this with disbelieving eyes. "No one is going to believe me, but I'm
telling everyone I know about this." He remembered to bring his camera
and he shot pic after pic of the assembled bunch.
Soon, Grace Garland and Amy
Coleman arrived, so the combined troupe sang Preacher
& The Nurse, Singer & The Song, and (with Steve back on piano),
When
You Care. Pictures were taken, toasts were offered to missing NubiHeOnBiHe's
and everyone hugged each other in peace and caring.
Derek told Steve because
of TLS, he has finally found himself able to
come out of the closet (and put behind him a life of fear). He also found
a huge circle of new friends, all of whom care for and take care of each
other. And he saw Luke Chipperfield, who only knew these cyberfriends long
distance, brought to tears with the love and affection that covered him
and surrounded him.
The young Mr. Derek can be
seen in the photograph below at the top in the center next to the "elderly
gentleman" (a Mr. Jim Brochu) with the white hair and the dark sunglasses.
Sunday, September 14, 1997
Heroes On Wheels.
Sunday was a day
of rest. But one very cool thing that happened was the Boston to NY AIDS
Ride landed on the Avenue just below our apartment. About 5pm, over 3000
riders in blazing red, blue, yellow and green jerseys swept up the streets
to cheering throngs gathered on both sides. We were scheduled to meet our
fave rider and fellow NuBiHeOnBiHe, Jarvis. We missed him, darn it, but
we did yell, "JARVIS! JARVIS!" about a thousand times while the rainbow
of riders streamed in.
It was breathtaking.
Monday, September 15, 1997
Back to Work: New Auditions.
Today was a day
of auditioning again. We (Jimmy, Jamie the Producer, and I) were looking
for understudies for the roles in TLS. Once
agan we were up at Charles Rosen's casting office, and once again, a steady
stream of equity actors came in to sing and read for us.
Jimmy and I both know what
it's like to audition for someone. It's scary and it can be even demeaning,
but it's great to watch Jimmy in action. When he gets a resume, the first
thing he does is check the credits to see if the actors have anyone listed
that Jimmy might know, so that he can hopefully put them at ease with some
conversation.
Charlie escorts each actor
in, we are all introduced with a handshake, Jimmy speaks to them about
any mutual acquaintances, and then we let them sing. If their singing is
up to the standard and style we need, then they get "sides" to read. Sides
are just pages from the script. They take the sides out into the lobby,
go over them until they are ready, and then come back in and "act."
We try desperately to pay
attention and give each actor respect. Sometimes, if there is something
particularly interesting about the performer, Jimmy will lean over and
whisper something. But most of the time, our eyes are on the actor.
The one that were the most
impressive were the ones who had their music in a binder, so they could
quickly find songs that might be appropriate. Explaining to them the style
of music in this show is not easy. We said we wanted "rock" vocalists,
so we might get anything from JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR to TOMMY to "When
A Man Loves A Woman."
Yesterday, we narrowed our
choices down, then came home and collapsed in exhaustion.
Tuesday, September 16, 1997
Busy Day.
This morning, we
finished up the auditions for understudies and then had a meeting with
Stage Manager Tom Clewell. (I'll be introducing all the new people who've
been added to our little mixture as we go along. Unlike the little "family"
group at the Currican where we all pitched in answering phones or sending
out our own press releases, this time we have a small army handling these
things. This will end my "run" as TicketBoy...*sigh*).
I'm still astonished that
one year ago we were trying to find a place to do a staged reading and
this year we're opening on 47th Street. Is this real? I spoke with
John Bettis last night (lyricist for When You Care
and updated him on all the "doin's." He said, "This play is just surrounded
by white light. There's something really going on here." John's one of
the busiest men in show business and was calling me from a phone booth
in Washington DC. It was fun to just recount to him all the great news
of the past few weeks.
After we got home, Carl D.
came over and we talked about Friendly Fire
and how we might stage it in the new theatre. It's the one chance for something
that resembles a production number, but our actors don't really dance,
and anyway, we don't want to disturb the intelligibility of Marie Cain's
incredible lyrics. They really don't need embellishing.
Now, Jimmy's and my biggest
problem is clothing. All our winter clothes (what there is) are back in
El Lay. Guess we're going to have to go to JCPenney and see if they'll
loan us a coat or two! Or maybe, when I finally draw that first paycheck,
Uncle Sam will allot me a clothing allowance...!
(Shawn
Decker is going to be on MTV with Mariana and maybe even Luke! Check
out Shawn's journal for the latest update. I think his airdate is Oct.
7th.) ***it's actually on the 5th***
Wed.-Sat., September 17-20, 1997
An Apology & An Explanation.
Forgive me, my friend,
for not updating the diary in three days, but I've not had very much to
say. Sounds kind of eerie, doesn't it?
Next week, I am making a
quick trip back to El Lay to see Thurber and get new blood tests (you're
supposed to use the same lab so the tests come out accurately). A very
intense time is ahead and it's best that I take care of these things now.
Next week, we start back rehearsing.
The last few days, in the
creative meetings as the production team comes together, I realize I'm
hearing new words and new terms for jobs I didn't know even existed, so,
in order to keep from looking totally stupid, I've trying to adhere to
the old rule that if you don't say much, people will assume you know more
than you do. (...of course, since I'm the authority on everything, this
is a difficult task.)
I am listening a lot and
learning a lot and trying to be as helpful as I can be. I am also reading
the newspaper so that I don't fall completely out of touch with the rest
of the world, and I've been exchanging emails with friends who need help
and reading the now hilarious but serious guestbook.
NEW PICS:
Oh, and I have made use
of a scanner. Here are some snapshots Jimmy made of
our trip around Manhattan. It's not comprehensive, these are just the
shots that turned out good.
SHAWN RETRACTION & CLARIFICATION:
The date for Shawn
Decker's appearance on MTV is Oct. 5th, not October 7th. Like Margo
Channing, he is a great star. A true star.
WHY "ELDERLY GENTLEMAN":
Back in El Lay, there was
an old couple -- probably in their 80s -- who we used to see at the theatre
all the time. The reason is that they did volunteer ushering for every
theatre in town in exchange for getting to see the plays. Well, one night
Jimmy and I saw them at the Alex Theatre in Glendale and Jimmy said, "Hi!
We remember you from the Colony Theatre! (Jimmy acted at the Colony at
one point).
The wife said (remember they're
in their 80s) to her husband, "Oh, yes, the elderly gentleman..."
And he's been the elderly
gentleman ever since.
R.A.T.M.:
I've also been checking
out rec.arts.theatre.musicals in the newsgroups because some fans of TLS,
are putting together a theatre party to go to one of the early previews
at the 47th Street Theatre. The group sales people that groups of ten or
more can get a special discount.
They want me to go out with
them afterwards and have dinner or something. I told them if they wanted
to talk about the play and give their opinions and stuff, I'd be cool with
that. (What have I done???)
I hope they don't try to
play, "Stump the composer."
I got a surprise for you
for tomorrow. I'm going to post the NEW TLS LOGO!! It was designed by Michael
Yuen at MKA Advertising. He slipped me a disc this week and I thought Sunday
would be a good day for an unveiling.
Oh, and thanks for putting
up with me. I don't deserve you.
Sunday, September 21, 1997
Unintended Consequences in Pleasant Valley on a Sunday.
In the new movie,
In & Out, the lead character is a schoolteacher who lives in a small
town who gets "outed". (Kevin Kline). The script by Paul Rudnick is a hilarious
two hours of sheer joy. What's fun about it is that it pokes fun at Hollywood's
own pro-gay crowd as much as it pokes fun at homophobia.
In real life, one needn't
be a gay teacher to become the object of suspicion and scorn. All you have
to do is consider the idea of safe schools to be a good one. And if you
speak out, discover:
The Laws of Unintended Consequences
of Enlightenment.
I'm getting mail from teachers
who, the day before, were beloved characters and who, because they raised
the subject of Safe Schools, became suddenly viewed with fear and suspicions.
Their entire world seems to dissolve around them.
(is he or she gay? is this
some kind of evil gay political movement? eyes avert. conversations get
shorter. students become more distant. how is it i'm getting punished for
doing the right thing?)
What does it feel like when
a child is suddenly afraid to give you a hug? What have they been told?
Why are they afraid?
And what are the gay kids
learning from this experience? That if a person even LIKES gay people,
he will suffer. If I really love my friends, I should separate myself from
them because I'm a danger to them.
LOUD STEVE: I have
to tell you that the straight world is a bitch, no two ways about it. And
I try to not bitch and complain too much, but at least if you're going
to put someone through hell about being gay, for God's sake make sure they're
gay. How scary is this? How 50's is this? It's so The Crucible. *smack
gum*
A reader of mine said she said
she was going to go to the Gay/Straight Alliance meeting in her high school
and suddenly everyone. especially her mom, was "wondering" if she was *spookymusic*
Wholesale panic in Barbie Land.
Look at the position it puts
her in. If she stands up and yells, "I'm not GAY!" that's also stupid.
It's like being in a stupid box and the only exit is by being more stupid.
Well, I hate being stupid.
Monday, September 22, 1997
Suddenly Crashing.
This morning I was
on the way to a meeting with John Kroner, the musical director, when I
noticed that the stairs leading out of the subway seemed especially hard
on me. We were fine during the meeting, although I was tired. When I finally
got home to Jimmy, he could see that I was on the verge of passing out,
so I just layed down on the futon couch and went to sleep.
I guess I've been going too
hard. I keep forgetting I'm infected by a virus, I guess. It just seems
so much more fun to be running around acting like Mighty Mouse.
So, I took (am taking) the
rest of the day off. Tomorrow is our first rehearsal, but all I have to
do is sit and listen. It will be glorious to have the cast back together
again. For all the squabbles a group of high strung creative types can
go through, these people are about as lovely and about as beautiful as
you can get.
Anyway, I'm headed back to
bed. Love you all. Oh, and if I'm behind on my emails, don't sweat it.
I'll get to ya.
Tuesday, September 23, 1997
Christmas Morning.
I could barely sleep
last night because I was so excited about today being the first day of
rehearsal. It felt like Christmas Eve. "AndBob" Stillman brought Tyler
the Dog along and Diva Grace had already signed four autographs (for some
workers) by the time we stepped into the studio to rehearse. There were
endless rounds of hugs and kisses with all the producers and the actors
and everybody else, and then we settled in for an informal readthrough
of the new script.
Also, it felt really good
to have Jimmy back in the director's chair. (It was never easy for him
having to communicate through a third person.) He made the first announcement:
"We have one main goal here in these rehearsals -- and that is to find
every way possible to keep Binky from breaking up on stage."
And with some of the new
dialogue Jimmy as added, that won't be at all easy.
Everyone was taking the reading
very loosely, laughing at each other's mistakes (and at their own) and
trying to remember lyrics and harmonies they haven't sung in three weeks.
The big change, music-wise, was the assignment of the song Somebody's
Friend to Amy Coleman as a solo. Previously, we had done the song as
a "group," passing the solo around, but something about it never seemed
quite effective to me, and since "Vicki" didn't have a solo, we decided
to give this a try.
She knocked us out of the
room, of course. And then later on, we added a new ending with some very
cool harmonies by Bob and Grace -- and it was like having a completely
new song. Very powerful.
STEVE IS A VERY GOOD BOY:
By the time rehearsal was
over, everyone was charged up and ready to rock. But I could feel that
same fatigue I had yesterday overtaking me, so I made an executive decision.
I decided I will *NOT* go to El Lay. I will, instead, stay home tomorrow
and just take a full day off and rest.
Now, just in case you're
worried about me: I am not sick. This is not some big ominous cloud. I
have been running myself ragged and because I listen to those around me,
including you, reader o' mine, telling me to take it easy, I have decided
to obey faithfully and just stay home like very good boy. Long ago, I made
the promise that I would not overdo it and that I would listen to those
who love me, and that's precisely what I'm doing.
We have much to do before
we open -- including a trip I'm taking down to Virginia Beach soon, so
STEVE IS ON VACATION. For a day or two, anyway. Oh, and thanks for caring.
But what's going on here? Trying to keep me alive or something?
And as your "reward" for
being so cool, here's a sneak peek at one of the
new posters/cards.
Wednesday, September 24, 1997
Resting & Ricki Lake.
STEVE THE ANGEL:
Today I did exactly what
I said I would do. I took the day off and I stayed in, although I did clean
up the apartment a little.
GABI THE WORLD TRAVELER:
I also got a phone call
from the irresistible Gabi Clayton who announced that she was not only
in town today, but had been flown here by the Ricki Lake Show!! Yes, our
Gabi is going to be a guest on an edition of Ricki Lake where they talk
about the pressures being put on gay kids and their parents.
FANTASTIC!!
Naturally, I told her to
tell them that when they put that little on screen "label" beneath her
name, it should say:
GABI CLAYTON
Co-President of the Steve
Schalchlin Fan Club
But these TV people are so shortsighted,
I bet it never happens. hehe
*harrumph*
Thursday-Saturday, September 25-27, 1997
Victory In The Heartland.
I am overflowing
with joy this morning. It's Saturday as I write this and I have just received
one of the most incredible pieces of mail I ever remember getting. (hint:
It's from Teacher Michael).
[When last we heard from
our dear Teacher, he -- a straight, single Christian -- had, by bringing
up the subject of how to make his public school safe for gay kids -- became
suddenly the talk of his town. Suddenly, everyone whispered behind his
back and wondered if he was gay. Like the movie "In & Out," the kids
and faculty were all avoiding him him...]
Yesterday, the School Supt.
who had been gone for a week came home and was made aware of all the gossip
and innuendo being hurled at Michael. Apparently, the Supt., contrary to
all expectations, began letting everyone know that there would be no discrimination
in his school system, especially among the faculty. And that, Michael was
a great teacher who, gay or NOT gay, deserved respect and standing in the
community.
THEN, finding Teacher Michael
in the hallway, he came up to him, threw his arms around him and said,
"You like you could use a great big hug. Kids? Doesn't Mr. .... deserve
a great big hug?" And suddenly all the kids, realizing it was okay -- because
they were being led by example -- ran up to Teacher Michael and began hugging
him and loving him.
He said at the local football
game, parents (PARENTS!) came up to him and hugged him and told them how
much they appreciated him. Students openly showed their affection and love.
(...and he wondered, How far had this gone??)
But it doesn't exactly end
there because, unlike movies, life does not end in two hour chunks. For
one thing, Teacher Michael has to sit down and think about what all this
has meant. This whole episode happened in something like a three week period.
He saw a small town in America go from being a normal "happy" community
into a community of lies and whispers. He had seen his beloved students
begin to look at him as if he were a stranger they did not know. He found
himself exposed and out there "going it alone."
What's really devastated
him, though, is how these events have "changed" his feelings for his beloved
students. He told me he cannot bring himself to just start hugging them
all back right now. He cannot dredge up "love" for them and this is breaking
his heart. He feels a terrible guilt about it because he firmly believes
a teacher cannot teach if he or she does not love his or her students.
This puzzled me for a moment
and then it hit me: He's a lover betrayed. Of course he's going to put
up walls. You'd have to be heartless and hopeless not to. These are not
the actions of a man who does not love, but rather one who loves "too deeply"
-- a condition I strive for, by the way, because I consider "loving too
deeply" to be humanity at its most evolved.
I wrote back to him and said
I have never seen such love between a teacher and a group of students.
He can protest all he want, but his actions are not the actions of a man
who does not love. These are the actions of a man who loves with all his
heart.
The lessons here are overwhelming.
The power of one. The power of leadership by example. The power of faith
and personal integrity. The power of doing right. Listen to me: there will
be lives saved from this incident. Children learn what they experience.
And now they have seen, firsthand, how easily "civilization" can get out
of control, but just as easily how a person can make the difference if
he stands up for what he believes.
This past Thursday, I went
with my dear Gabi Clayton to the Ricki Lake Show (where I sat in the front
row, by the way). They had two high school kids who were being verbally
harassed at school. Next to them, they had the school bully who was doing
much of the harassing.
(A Baptist boy,
he told us the Bible "did not agree" with homosexuality. I wanted to say
to him, "...so you're abusing them because you're a good Christian??")
They also featured Carolyn and
Willie, a mother and son from Arkansas. Willie is a 15 year old who was
beaten up unmercifully after months of verbal harassment (and Carolyn is
his Christian mother who refuses to allow the school and the church to
look the other way). Next was Gabi, whose son, Bill, committed suicide
after being physically attacked. And Lyn Duffy -- an intellectually gifted
20 year old -- who, at age 14, was imprisoned in a mental institution and
given shock treatments and aversion therapy to make her straight.
They illustrated how easily
hate and fear can escalate from words to violence to death.
Teacher Michael is not a
hero or a big star or a man covered with ribbons. He is a quiet teacher
in a small town in the midwest who simply decided to do the right thing.
I would give just about anything to have been one of his students. They
are the luckiest kids on the planet.
Sunday, September 28, 1997
Sunday in the Room with TLS.
Poor Jimmy has a
cold. He has just been miserable with a runny nose and sneezing and feeling
terrible. Naturally, we are doing everything we can to keep me from picking
it up. So, last night Carl and I went down to the pharmacy and picked up
NyQuil, which knocked Jimmy out before 60 Minutes was even over.
Yesterday, though, I got
my first sneak peek at what Jimmy and the cast have been doing in rehearsal.
For one thing, he's been dividing them up into little groups of two or
three, and working with them individually. Just before the run-through,
he said to them, "Now, there might be some surprises coming, so everyone
just react in character..."
What's happened is that the
dramatic tension and subtext have burst forth in ways I never expected.
I literally sat there stunned at what was happening in front of me. More
than a few reviewers commented on the characters and the actors in the
showcase production at the Currican, but this is a whole new level. The
play has become more real, if that's possible.
Carl told Jimmy this production
was going to get him so much work as a director, he's never going to have
time to write anything else. I totally agree. He might be one of the best
directors working in theatre -- (and yes, I'm prejudiced, so you'll just
have to see for yourself). But, Jimmy grew up on Broadway, witnessing hundreds
of Broadway performances (in the back of the theatre while selling orange
drink at intermission!).
Jimmy was also great friends
with Ethel Merman, Carol Channing, David Burns, and a hundred other great
Broadway stars. He really knows his stuff. What's funny, though, is how
much doing this "big" production is just like doing any small production.
You still have to rehearse, you never have enough money, and ultimately,
nothing matters but what's up there on the stage.
Best of all, the cast can
feel that they are being given the chance to make a extraordinary impact
on audiences. Each of them are astonishing performers. Particularly interesting
today were Bob Stillman and Grace Garland. Today, when Grace went into
the new speech convincing "Gideon" not to kill himself, I found myself
with tears streaming down my face.
And Bob was like a new person,
bringing levels of feistiness and anger and tension to an almost impossibly
difficult role. I cannot WAIT until audiences see this cast. People will
simply not believe their eyes and ears. Amy Coleman on Somebody's
Friend backed by Bob and Grace's new harmony parts (which they kinda
made up themselves) -- it's like a whole new song.
(Am I running on too much?
Probably).
After the rehearsal, I brought
Jimmy home and put him to bed.
Monday-Tuesday, September 29-30, 1997
Surreptitiously Scanning Out Of Control.
Geocities Broadway
neighborhood was down yesterday. That's why you couldn't access my website.
Last night, one of the producers
came here and showed us the material which is one step away from being
approved. So, while Jimmy kept him distracted, I sneaked to the scanner
and scanned it all in. It was just like Mission: Impossible.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THERE???"
"nothing. just my mail..."
First, I put the proposed new
flier as the main graphic for the new "temporary"
homepage. (They're supposed to get getting a fancy new webmaster soon
so that I don't have to deal with it, but until then, I'm going to just
keep sneaking you some really cool stuff like the
new ad campaign which is still being approved). Look at this beautiful
cast. They look like movie stars.
BELL-TOE UPDATE
Well, my big toe on my right
foot has almost grown in, but my toe takes a slight turn to the right towards
the end and the nail is slightly infected at both "corners." I am treating
it and with the new shoes Linda
George gave me, which are very wide, I am walking comfortably.
Jimmy, by the way, is a thousand
percent better. Tuesday was day off for all of us (except the producers
who work endlessly) so we lounged and rested and ate chicken soup and rented
the movie, "Scream," which was Shawn
Decker'd favorite movie of the year last year. (Don't forget he's going
to be on MTV Unfiltered on Oct. 5. (is it Oct. 5th? I forgot...)
On Wednesday, the setbuilders
will be loading everything into the 47th Street Theatre, the cast will
be cutting some radio spots for the show and on Thursday I fly to Norfolk,
VA for the anti-drug conference. I'll get to visit Tracey and Shawn D.
and sing and talk. Four of my favorite activities!
I think it will be good to
get away, too, from the stress of production so that I can just spend a
few days reading and decompressing. I mean essentially my job is over here.
I wrote the songs and supervised the final arrangements and now they have
to drill it and get it right. (What could be more fun???)
I will take this time to
be fed and pampered a little -- they usually do that for "special" guests.
Then, when I come back, I'll be ready to see a run-through at the theatre
(so I can run around shouting, "Hey! THAT'LL NEVER DO!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH
YOU PEOPLE???? You know, lots of fun stuff like that.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
I got a note from a new
reader who told me I wasn't talking enough about my health these days and
that it was important that I don't forget. First of all, please forgive
me. I didn't mean to be neglectful. The best I can say is that I'm doing
really well. Feeling very strong. I do have a tendency to overdo -- and
since everyone knows this, it's fun to watch them all try to keep from
giving me jobs and responsibilities to keep from "stressing me out." For
this reason, I try to be very blunt about how I feel so they won't feel
like I'm covering up something.
DIAPERS AND WOMEN'S STUFF:
In fact, a reporter mentioned
the other day that she was surprised that I was so forthcoming about using
diapers last year when I was so sick. I told her I had learned, not only
every adult diaper, but every "feminine" pad ever used by modern women.
"HOW DO YOU DO IT?" I asked
her. She just laughed and said, "Unh huh..." And suddenly we had a common
bond.
Well, I'm going back to the
TV where Jimmy is vegging out. It's nice to just be "home" and together.
I do miss Thurber the Cat, though.
